Adjusting - Transitioning - Learning english - Unsung heros - Doctor Visits

Alissa continues to grow in leaps and bounds and it is exciting to watch. Her excitement of new things is so amazing to watch. As you can imagine she hasn't been exposed to as much as a 3.5 year old peer so she constantly stops to look at something and says "wow". Then there are all of the people we run into while going about our regular day. I know they don't know her background when they are reaching out to do something special for her, nor of the great impact they have made. Each time I silently say thank you - as I walk away with my beeming child. Through these interactions she is learning to trust adults (other than her parents.)

Her language is coming along quickly. We have documented approximately 65 polish words and 150ish english words that she uses, knows the meaning, and uses correctly. She is adding 3-5 english words a day it seems. Her receptive english language is larger than her expressive language so we are moving in the right direction.

Right now her "physical therapy" has taken on the form of swimming with us, a ballet/gym/tap class and gymnastics class. The first day of ballet she just beemed all during class and especially when she looked at herself in the mirror in her dancing clothes. There was only one time where we thought she might go into a panic attack. They had them lay on the matt and put their hands above their heads and roll over. When her face rolled onto the matt she just froze and refused to roll anymore. The teacher patiently and nicely talked with her and Alissa managed to pull it together and let the teacher roll her on over. The next day she started rolling around at the house! I got to take her this week and she was just beeming when I peeked in through the closed doors. She just loves having "dance shoes". Gymnastics also went well. She is a bit tentative on the very thick, low to ground balance beams, but she enjoys the class. It is great for her even beyond the acitivity level, because she is learning to watch the 5 things she needs to do and then follow those directions. There is also alot of distractions since this is like a real gymnastics gym - but she is doing really well and is very happy when going to class.

She has also started a part-time preschool at the audubon nature center near our house. I just found out people drive 45 minutes to bring their kids into this school and we slipped in at the end. There is a focus on nature and hikes outside the audubon grounds to check out the wildlife. I couldn't think of a better preschool to help make up for what she missed. The teachers are awesome, all with special ed and young children degrees. They didn't care about potty training (maybe because the class is only 2.5 hours long) and they have met with us individually, spent time reviewing a behavior management doc and even called with questions, and sent a detailed email on her first day. Hooray! I was so nervous about how this would go, but she was insisting on going to school (to do what her big brother did). She has been 5 days now and it is going well. She goes through the process of checking herself in, says good-bye and start interacting with the teachers. It is always fun to go pick her up though because she is also so happy to see me and to "tell" me all about the day. It is hard to figure out what she is talking about though so I check in with the teachers to better understand what she is so excited about. This week they said she really understood the game "duck, duck, goose" and had a great time playing.

I was asked about our approach for curbing the temper tantrums and convincing her to use words. All kids are different so I've found you have to be creative and try things out on your kids to see what may work and what won't. But here are some ideas to try. I've used three main resources: the kids book Knuffle Bunny, our attachment therapist, and the book "parenting the hurt child" by Gregory Keck. Knuffle Bunny is a great way to get across the idea that parents can't understand kids crying, only words. She really likes this book and we act out the part where the baby was crying and making her dad very unhappy because he couldn't understand. Our attachment therapist said to help her by talking about "big girl" choice and not being a "baby". So right before we think she is going to go into a temper tantrum we either remind her she is a big girl or ask her if she is going to make a big girl choice. Whenever she does make a good choice, we talk about how she was such a "big girl" to do x. This is supposed to help them rewire their immediate response. Then the book, this was a great read. It suggested not saying "no" unless it was a danger issue or you really weren't going to let them do x ever. If you will say yes at some time try using "yes". So we say, Yes you can - later, or Yes you can, tomorrow, or Yes you can, after Mason. For some reason starting with "Yes" relaxes her body and she is better able to take the response of later or not yet. It is truly amazing how many ways you can say no, by starting with yes.

Success? We have seen a dramatic reduction in the number and intensity of the tantrums. She uses her words more now and asks for help more. I feel her temper tantrums are now normal 2 or 3 year old temper tantrums. We need to work on levels of response. IE all bumps are not huge hurts. There are small hurts and big hurts and we react accordingly. Right now every hurt gets the same response. Any ideas are welcome.

This week we are going to see an eye doctor and have her evaluation for special services with our county. Hopefully all will go well. Some of those involved in the special services evaluation have also adopted though I don't know if from the US or abroad. We know she is behind in many areas and in other areas she is at an age appropriate level. I'm just hoping for some services to help her make up for the years of minimal stimulation so that she can live up to her own potential. Much of it we are already doing, but the speech therapy I think will have a big impact.

She is just really doing well and she just melts your heart with her smiles, hugs, and overall happy disposition.